Some news headlines are surprising. That’s why they’re called “news.”

Then there are the other headlines; the headlines that represent stories which, for the life of you, you can’t understand why there needed to be a news story in the first place. Those stories come from the place I like to call the “obvious desk,” and here are a few examples from today’s Daily Breeze, here in Torrance…

Torrance Fireworks Fans find Prime Seats Go Fast, Early (meaning, people who want the best seats to see fireworks in the park get there before other people get there);

Consumers Struggle With Bills (I had trouble interpreting this one at first, but I think it means that consumers are having trouble paying bills);

Ahh, you say, but the Daily Breeze is a local, suburban newspaper. Surely a more professional news service would not fall prey to printing the obvious, would they? To that I say, HA! Look no further than MSN.com…

Swank Says Husband’s Addiction Hurt Marriage (which is interesting, because most of the time, when a husband is dealing with substance abuse, it helps the marriage);

Not to be outdone, (Lindsay) Lohan Says Drugs Tore Her Family Apart (as if to say, “Hilary Swank only dealt with a hurt marriage, whereas drugs actually tore my entire family apart.”)

When I’m in charge of the world, there will be a journalism law – If people already know it, it’s not news. Don’t bother telling us. There’s nothing wrong with less news for one day.