I live in a guest house adjacent to a large, beautiful home overlooking the ocean (the Pacific one, for those of you who aren’t from around here). The past few days the people in the big house have been gone, and have asked me to check on their 4 cats. “Check on” means take care of the food thing, both before and after they eat it.
Thinking to myself, how can anyone refuse to scoop poop in a beautiful home like this one, I of course agreed.
Now, first let me say that I have nothing against cats. I actually used to have a pretty cool cat named Daphne, and like most animals, she was in love with me. Most animals are; it’s people I have trouble with.
Anyway, all that said, I’m actually more of a dog person. They make a lot more sense to me. Cats don’t really bother me, they just seem kind of crazy to me. Cats seem like something God made after he had already created dogs, thinking, “This will be really funny. Let’s take that whole dog idea and make something else furry and pet-friendly, but with a completely twisted mental state, just to keep people on their toes.”
Julie the cat has fallen in love with me, and sits either next to me or on me while I’m watching TV and makes that cool sound cats make and falls asleep. My daughter is very much like this cat – though usually without the sound;
Ann the cat is polite and courteous in a sort of business-like way, but she doesn’t really want to hang out with me. Two or three people come to mind here, but I won’t mention their names;
Betsy the cat is old – like Florida, retirement, senior citizen old. She enjoys having me around and lets me pet her, but at other times she seems confused as to who I am. She likes to just sit and stare. My mom is getting like this;
Hammy the cat is kind of a psycho. She stares at me in a creepy way, comes close, darts away, and then hides for a long time. Fill in your own suggested names of people here __________.
So far, I’ve managed to keep all four cats properly herded and fed, and managed to keep the house from smelling like crap. Oh yeah, and I’ve kept the racoons out. A good week’s work.