All Your COVID-19 Info in One Convenient Place

doom-gloomIn these unprecedented times of desperation and uncertainty, in which we really need one another (virtually of course); thank God we’re all in this together. And thankfully we have had no shortage of experts, and by “experts” I mean scientists, politicians, theologians, not to mention A-, B-, C- and D-list celebrities and social media influencers, and of course conspiracy theorists. Thank God for these people who are daily keeping us informed about what to do, as well as what to never do, during these unprecedented times of desperation and uncertainty.

The problem I’ve encountered with the experts, however, is that they don’t always agree. And that’s hard for a person like me, who is neither a scientist, a politician, a theologian, any kind of celebrity or influencer, nor a conspiracy theorist. Not falling into any of these categories, I have no way of knowing what to think or how to deal with these difficult times. And I am the last person to give you reliable advice, and you don’t really need me anyway, since you already have a plethora of scientists, politicians, theologians, A,B,C & D celebrities and influencers, and conspiracy theorists. In theory, all the info we need has been graciously provided by the above-mentioned people. But, it can be a little challenging to sort it all out.

I felt the least I can do (and I’m all about doing the least I can do in any situation) would be to simply list as much of the COVID-19 info as I can remember, right here, so you can go through the list whenever you need to and decide what, if anything, you’re going to believe. I’m saying “as much as I can remember,” because I don’t have the time nor the interest to go digging through the long lists of advice, suggestions, orders, policies etc., but I am listing most of what I can remember. I can assure you, everything in the list below has actually been posted somewhere on the internet; I’m not making any of this up. (Someone else may have made it up and then posted it, but I’m simply reporting it):

The virus is China’s fault.

The virus is the U.S.’s fault. 

The virus is President Trump’s fault.

The virus isn’t President Trump’s fault, but he didn’t act quickly enough.

The virus was created by the government to control us (exactly which government isn’t clear to me yet).

We’ll be back to normal in a few months.

We’ll be back to normal in about a year.

We’ll be back to normal in a few years.

We’ll never be back to normal.  We are, in fact, anticipating a “new normal,” which seems cool because it’s fun to get new things.

The old normal was bad and we’re all going to be better off without it.

Medical professionals are our heroes.

Grocery store workers are our heroes.

Teachers are our heroes.

First responders are our heroes.

Children are our heroes. 

Basically, everyone’s a freaking hero.

Thank God for Netflix.

Netflix is making everything worse.

Zoom has made things better.

Zoom has made things worse.

The virus is definitely because of 5G.

The virus is definitely not because of 5G.

No one should be leaving their homes. 

You can leave your home whoever you feel like it.

It’s fine to leave your homes, for essential reasons.

If you leave your home for essential reasons, you need to wear a mask. If you don’t wear a mask, you could be leading to the deaths of thousands of people.

You don’t need to wear a mask.

Not only do you not need to wear a mask, you’re probably making things worse and leading to the deaths of thousands of people by wearing a mask.

A mask absolutely won’t do anything to protect you or anyone else. But you should wear one anyway.

The economy is a mess and may take years to recover.

The economy is a mess but it’ll be fine soon.

The economy isn’t a mess, and in fact is better than it’s ever been.

The virus poses no threat to children.

Children are especially vulnerable to the virus.

The virus is particularly life-threatening to people in their 80’s and 90’s (being in your 80’s and 90’s is somewhat life-threatening in itself, but I digress).

Making a video of yourself singing and posting it on YouTube is helpful to the world.

Making a video of yourself singing and posting it on YouTube is annoying to the world.

The government has grossly overreacted.

The government has grossly under-reacted.

It’s our responsibility to spend our money to help local small businesses.

It’s our responsibility to spend as little money as possible, and save as much as possible.

People should not gather in groups of more than 10 people.

People should not gather in groups of more than 50 people.

People should not gather in groups of any size, other than at the grocery store when wearing masks and keeping at least six feet apart.

School children will be forever traumatized by missing their proms, graduations, talent shows, etc.

School children will be fine.

This is God’s judgment on the world.

This is not God’s judgment on the world.

The virus is going to kill most of us.

We’re all going to be fine.

OK, I hope by compiling this admittedly non-exhaustive list, you’ll have a better idea of what to do and what to think concerning that pesky COVID-19 virus. I’ll keep you updated if the scientists, theologians, politicians, conspiracy theorists, or various types of celebrities/influencers have anything more to tell us.

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