Tonight, the Lovely Miss Courtney and I went to Mosaic together. When it was over, she announced that she was driving home (instead of me). No problem, I thought. However, there were several factors that indeed, made it a problem.
1. We used a different car tonight. Normally, I drive my Pathfinder. Tonight for a variety of reasons, we used the Mini Cooper. Because the Mini is so small, you feel literally inches away from the road, and from any car that may be coming at you. Also, you feel like you’re going about a million miles an hour;
2. Courtney drives fast. And while Courtney drives fast, I sit in the passenger seat, holding onto the door handle thing tightly with both hands, trying to look calm, while breathing heavily;
3. We had to get onto the 110 Freeway South, near the interchange with the 10 Freeway, from downtown (depicted upper right), an area where Courtney has never actually driven before.
So the process went something like this…
Me: You’re going to need to keep moving to the left, or you’re going to end up on the 10, which we don’t want. (Inwardly, to myself – OMG!!!!! WE’RE GOING TO DIE ANY SECOND!!!!!!!!!!)
Courtney: WHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT GUY????? WHY WON’T HE LET ME OVER????
Me: There you go – no problem. Just keep working your way to the left (Inwardly – OMG!!!! WE’RE GOING TO DIE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!)
Courtney: It’s OK, I’ve got it. Hey those two guys singing tonight were so funny…. WHAT THE HECK???? THAT GUY ALMOST HIT ME!!!!!!!!!
Me: It’s fine – there’s the 110 on your left (Inwardly – OMG!!!!!! THIS IS THE END OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!!)
Me: There, see? We’re on the 110 – I told you it was no problem.
Ugh. Oh boy. This makes me have hives. Naomi just got her permit.
And the Father of the Year Award goes to….!!! I’ve yet to drive wtih Craigy behind the wheel on a freeway!!! Perry has though. Hey, can you two split the award??!! More power to ya, my Brotha!
P.S. Oh yeah, and glad you didn’t die.
Scary! But the fact that you think inwardly in textspeak (OMG) is also scary.