As if the troubles between Jon & Kate weren’t bad enough, there is now a rumored little tiff between frumpy British singing sensation Susan Boyle (who looks a bit like Andrew Lloyd Weber) and Andrew Lloyd Weber (who looks a bit like Susan  Boyle).

Andrew (the real Andrew, not Susan posing as Andrew) is apparently bent because Susan isn’t singing one of his songs. Or something like that. It’s truly a sad, sordid tale.

Andrew, suck it up. You’re lucky that your melodramatic little ballads are sung on cruise ships around the world, not to mention high school talent shows, and of course, actual Broadway theaters. Time to move on.