Most Mondays, I go to Borders and study – and of course, that involves coffee. So, as a regular guy there, I’d like to request that they STOP ASKING ME SO MANY QUESTIONS JUST TO GET A CUP OF COFFEE.

Normally, ordering coffee there goes something like this:

Me: I’ll have a medium coffee and a pretzel.

Coffee guy: Would like you like dark, medium or light roast?

Me: Medium

CG: Did you want room for cream?

Me: Yes

CG: Did you want that pretzel warmed up?

M: Sure

CG:  Is that for here or to go?

M: Here

CG: And do you have your Borders Rewards Card with you?

M: Here it is

CG: Did you want your receipt

Me: (inwardly – NO!!!!!) outwardly – no thanks.

This is too complicated. So here’s my suggestion. Sometimes (doubtful, but sometimes) I may want you to interrogate me when I order coffee. Most of the time, I don’t. I’m even willing to take the risk that I might accidentally order dark roast when medium or light would have been better, or that I might not get a warm pretzel, or that, horror of horrors, you might put my pretzel in a bag when I’m actually planning to sit down at your table and eat it. I’M WILLING TO LIVE WITH ALL THOSE CONSEQUENCES.

So, how about this – when I come up to the window, why don’t you ask me just one question – “Hi – would you like me to ask you a bunch of questions right now?” If I do (which I won’t), I’ll say “sure, ask away.” Then you can go for it. But if I don’t want your questions (which I won’t) then I’ll say, “No.” In that case, just say, “OK, what’ll it be?” I’ll say “Coffee and a pretzel.” Then just do what you think is right with the order and I’ll live with it.