Racoon A: Boy, it sure is cool hanging out in this backyard. Kind of like the photo on the left, which isn’t actually us, but an example of two random racoons found on the internet.

Racoon B: That photo is actually on the right, Racoon A. Anyway, it sure is cool. We can look for food, drink from the pool, and at night when the house is dark…

Racoon A (interrupting): WE CAN GO THROUGH THE LITTLE PLASTIC SMALL DOOR AND EAT THE CAT FOOD!!!

Racoon B: That’s what I was about to say… OMG – WHAT THE HECK IS THAT COMING TOWARD US???

Racoon A: Oh no!  I think it’s the Incredibly White Man I’ve heard about who lives in the front and sometimes uses the jacuzzi, only with permission of the big house people when they’re out of town, of course!

Racoon B:  OMG!!! How is it possible that any living creature can be so white? He’s practically glowing!!

Racoon A: Just stay over here, and he probably won’t bother you. Man, those white legs are creepy though. OK, he’s in the jacuzzi now. You can hardly see him – just the top of his head.

Racoon B: I guess it’s safe now – just move slowly toward the pool and on to the house…

Racoon A:  What the… he’s standing up! He saw us…. OMG!!!!!! That glow from his incredibly white body is going to blind us!!!

Racoon B:  Don’t look directly at it!!! Run, A, run!!!!!

Note – “A Tale of Two Racoons” was inspired by factual events which took place on Tuesday evening, June 23, 2009.