I have mild asthma, and occasionally need to use an inhaler. It’s not that often, usually just during the colder months for some reason. So I use a product called Albuterol. By the way, I think drugs have weird names, and I think the people who name drugs are the same creative people who name paint. But I digress.

Anyway, today I went to Walgreens to get more Albuterol, and when the pharmacist lady gave it to me, she said that this was the last time I could get this particular formula of Albuterol. It seems that the people at Albuterol are introducing a new product soon, which will not emit the horrible fumes that are apparently messing up the earth – along with everything else that’s apparently messing up the earth. All that to say that next time, when I forget to refill my Albuterol until I’m completely out of it, and then I’m suddenly wheezing and turning blue while fighting traffic and hitting every red light on Crenshaw Blvd. all the way to Walgreens to get more, they’re going to have to get authorization from my Dr. for the new formula. So I might die while I wait.

So this brings me to a self-centered moment, but an important one. Listen up, Albuterol people:

When I’m wheezing, and struggling to find a breath which I’m convinced at the moment may be my last breath ever,  saving the stupid earth is the last thing on my mind. So your new little green formula better work as well as your old polluting formula worked.

I’ll make a deal with you – let me just keep the old Albuterol, and I’ll switch to paper bags at the grocery store (maybe, once or twice, then of course I’m going back to the earth-ruining plastic).