Some of you people are taking advantage of the beautiful luxury known as Starbucks. Those Starbucks people are pretty nice, and they’re good at moving the lines quickly, which is greatly appreciated in the morning when you’re on your way to work.
However, some of you people (and you know who you are) are going out of your way to slow this process down. One lady in particular, at the Starbucks on Crenshaw and Sepulveda Blvd’s, is really causing problems – and this has happened more than once.
I’m talking about engaging in breeches of Starbucks etiquette such as:
Ordering not just for herself, but for 821 other people in her office;
Ordering not just simple stuff for those 821 people, but each one more complicated than the one before (a double soy triple grande raspberry frappa… etc);
Engaging in too much small talk with the Starbucks cashier, thus making the long process even longer;
And don’t get me started on the sugar and cream area (OK, I’ve already gotten myself started). The process at that table goes something like this…
Taking a year to get the top off of your cup;
Standing there for a minute and thinking about what you want to do;
Putting in a little sugar, and then tasting the coffee, and then thinking about it;
Putting in more sugar, tasting the coffee, and thinking about it some more;
Putting in cream, tasting the coffee, and thinking about it some more;
Ignoring the guy behind you (me) with his ONE cup of coffee, waiting for the cream.
This is no longer acceptable, and will no longer be tolerated. You’re forcing me to go out of my way (a few blocks down the street) to a different Starbucks!
You have so many options here…well, 2 that I can actually think of…
1) Since you don’t look very Italian, put on some dark glasses and use your clout as an Obama VP-hopeful. Simply tell the ordering offender to, “Please move along. Presidential matter” and pat your chest. She’ll most likely think you’re “packin’ heat” and not just stifling a small burp. OR…
2) Try going to the Starbucks located by Restaurant Row on the corner of Torrance Blvd. and Hawthorne. There’s hardly ever a line…they’re really sweet… and they usually have those awesome Chicken Tarragon sandwiches in stock (aaahhhh….!!!)
Good luck. Oh yeah, and please order 3 cups because you never know when you might run into Parrot and me!!