Facebook…
makes people tired. Just look at all the status updates about how tired people are. The common thread between all these tired people? They all use Facebook. Mystery solved.
makes people old. A lot of people from my past have appeared on Facebook, people who as far as I can remember, were not old. Yet on Facebook, they are in fact quite old in their appearance. Again, Facebook must have caused this.
redefines the word “friend.” A lot of people in real (offline) life know my name. And I know a lot of people’s names. That doesn’t make us friends, because we don’t know much about each other, and probably would never hang out. Yet on Facebook, we’re “friends.” Not that that’s a bad thing – just pointing it out.
Fat. It makes them fat, too.