Well, the 2010 Winter Olympics are almost over; just a few more days to go. We’ve seen a lot in the last two weeks – lots of victories and defeats, and lots of personal drama and sacrifice. All that stuff, plus a lot of national anthems.

Oh sure, I know many of you watch the Olympics for other reasons, like the sports. But for me, while I like some of the sports, I just have the kind of brain that notices other things. What I’m saying is, I have a way of finding things that don’t matter and writing about them on this blog as though they were important.

So, back to national anthems… is there some international law that every country HAS to have a national anthem? When did that start? Are there any countries who, upon formation, just said, “Anthem schmanthem?” 

Or – what if there’s absolutely no one in a country who can sing? Could they get away with some sort of non-musical alternative to a national anthem – like maybe a national poem, or a national dance, or a national humorous monologue? THAT would be cool at the Olympics… the winner could get up on the platform box thing, and then instead of music playing, the nation’s flag could rise, and a guy could say, “Who’s here from out of town? I just flew in this morning and boy are my arms tired! Hey, what’s the deal with those two-man luge guys??”

Finally, let me just assure people that I have nothing against national anthems per se. I’m saying that because past experience tells me that someone’s going to read this and find something to freak about. And I’d like to offer my services, in case any nations out there are without a national anthem, or are just plain sick of the one they already have. I could probably help you come up with one, or a new one, and if you don’t like the one I write for you, don’t worry – I know other people who can write good music. For a fee, I could hook you up.

And, should you decide that you not only need a new national anthem but an entirely different non-musical type of anthem experience as well, I’d be happy to brainstorm with you about that.