Ask Me Stuff #2

For our 2nd edition of the wildly popular “Ask Me Stuff” feature, we will answer a question from Joann of Joann’s Blog Adventure. Here it is… What should you do if a child sings with that fake pop star kind of enunciation – “heh beh beh” for hey baby, for example.

Joann, your question requires thoughtful analysis. So I thoughtfully analyzed it, and here’s what I’ve got. First, we have to rule out a few factors, such as…

Are any of the children in question Black? And if so, are any of the children in question first-generation Nigerians? I’m only asking because I once heard a guy from Nigeria pronouce words very similarly, and he wasn’t trying to be cool or pop-star-like or anything like that. However, if you’re referring to any of your own children, we can probably rule out the Nigerian thing. As well as the Black thing in general.

Second, are any of the children in question suffering from any kind of nerve damage that may affect the muscles around the mouth? If so, give them a break.

However, I’m going to assume that 1) the kids are not from Nigeria, and 2) everything’s fine with their mouths (as far as being in working order, anyway). Oh, and 3) it’s probably one of your own kids. So if it were me having to listen to them, I’d probably calmly and kindly explain to them that if they don’t knock it off, I’m going to send them to Arizona, where they will be mistaken for foreigners and likely deported. This should bring some sort of resolution for you.

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One Response to Ask Me Stuff #2

  1. joannmski says:

    Hmm. Well, I had used a harsh method with Jessica and Naomi, and now with the next generation was trying to be a kinder, gentler parent.

    Apparently this isn’t the place for kinder, gentler advice.

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